How to raise a daughter in a lesbian household?
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I am in a lesbian relationship and me and my lover are going to move in together for the first time. We are wondering if you had any ideas on how to raise a daughter in a lesbian household? My daughter is two years old. We would appreciate the help thanks in advance
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Brak needs some answers said:
Raise her to love girls too and I bet she’ll make a sexy model on sapphicerotica.com
February 9th, 2010 at 4:00 am -
Sarah Townen said:
i am straight but have gay and lesbian friends
some of them have kidsfor you specific situation i would recommend that she have some kind of male influence in her life on a regular basis. does she have an uncle? or her father? a good family friend?
i think it’s pretty important for her to get exposure from both male and female adults AND peers
good luck!
February 9th, 2010 at 4:51 am -
Brittney said:
Just raise her the best you can that’s all any parent can do
February 9th, 2010 at 5:24 am -
DOMINICA :] said:
Just like you would a normal kid =]
Though she’ll probably need a positive male role model somewhere a long the way, so when it comes time to sign her up for school, choose the guy teacher, haha.February 9th, 2010 at 5:27 am -
Crumsta said:
OK, both of the answers that I saw on here before I posted mine were completely stupid.
And mine is quite brief:
Raise her with love. Teach her to be honest, kind, loving, accepting…all the things you want her to be. You don’t need any special tricks just because you are in a lesbian relationship…
All you need is love. That’s what families are really made of.
EDIT:The stupid answers I was talking about were the ones that said “raise her to like girls too” and “give her away to a male-female coupled household” …just so you know.
February 9th, 2010 at 6:15 am -
pushstroke said:
Just be a normal couple. Hopefully you had a normal upbringing without beatings, fights, yelling and swearing. If so, don’t be like that in your home. Just raise your daughter with love, empathy, compassion, trust.
February 9th, 2010 at 7:13 am -
Bri said:
Just raise her like a straight couple would. =/ It doesn’t matter what gender the parents are, they’re still the parents and can take care of their children just as well as a straight couple would.
February 9th, 2010 at 7:56 am -
razzles. :] said:
just raise her how you feel is right. :] and be the best parents you can. good luck.
February 9th, 2010 at 8:24 am -
lilplastiqcastle said:
Raise her with love, show her through your interactions with your partner what a healthy loving relationship is. Set boundaries and limits with her, all children need boundaries. Show her that learning and a sense of wonder are the two greatest things a human can possess. Show her kindness and she will give kindness freely to others. Teach her manners and to respect her elders as well as herself. Teach her the value of hard work and a job well done, teach her the principles of financial responsibility and the value of a dollar. teach her to be independent and self reliant. Give her a wide variety of life experiences. Give her your time as well as your wisdom, so many parents seem to have forgotten this one. Bedtime stories, PJ day Sundays, hot chocolate after playing in the snow, pizza night, picnic at the park, day at the beach etc. Treasure her daily. When she has questions about her “family” answer them honestly, make sure your answers are age appropriate. Best wishes.
L
February 9th, 2010 at 9:24 am -
reme_1 said:
Love her. Hold her. Tuck her in at night. Help her thru her bad dreams. Teach her to love herself, treat others as she wants to be treated, and to stick up for what she believes.
Love each other. The best thing parents can give to their children is to show affection to each other.
Try not to be TOO touchy feely in front of her- it’s confusing when all she’ll see around her is heterosexual examples.
Introduce her to other couples so she’ll learn there are different families out there: straight , two guys, two gals, single parents. MY VERY BEST TO YOU ALL. HUGS!!
Oh, when she goes to school talk to the teachers & students about her having two mommies. Make sure the teacher is treating her the same as everybody else.February 9th, 2010 at 9:27 am -
Diamond-Raven said:
Both of these points have already been made, but I wanted to emphasize how essential I think both of them are:
Every child MUST have positive role models of both genders in their lives. It doesn’t matter if the person is a relative, a friend, a coach, a teacher….children must learn how to properly interact with both genders. Many children raised in single parent households end up having problems with the other gender because they haven’t been exposed to the other gender enough and don’t know how to interact with them appropriately.
Also, being very involved in her life in school will be essential. One of my former professors is a lesbian, married to her partner and they have two kids - a son and a daughter. Their son’s class was having a ‘present your family’ day where all the kids drew pictures of their family and presented them to the class. My professor came to class that day - and she thanked her lucky stars later that she did. Many of the kids were asking why her son had drawn two mommies, and where was his daddy? The teacher (an older woman) sat there and didn’t say anything, steadily getting redder and redder in the face as the kids got louder and demanded an answer. My prof calmly answered their questions and the kids nodded, accepted it and moved on.
Policies in certain schools dictate that teachers are to be accepting towards all students, but most never get educated in how to actually answer certain questions and react to certain situations. Making sure that the teachers your daughter encounters know how to treat these situations properly is essential. Most teachers would love to have you help out during certain times of the year where the whole ‘family life’ issue is a key topic. Don’t assume a teacher will react appropriately to certain situations just because the school policy demands it. It may not be due to bigotry, but most of them have never encountered such situations before and simply feel lost.
Also, teach your daughter how to respond to intolerance and rudeness from other people and what to say to other people (especially children) who ask about her “different” family.
Best of luck to you and your family!
February 9th, 2010 at 9:58 am -
Lesbian_Mom said:
All these people are saying raise her like a strait couple would…..Know what I think…
I think that little girl is lucky….
I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter, I am married, To a woman (lesbian couple)
My daughter is the most well rounded happy little girl because she has 2 parents who love her more than life itself.
All that maters is that you love her, gay or strait, married, single, there are many different types of families and all that really matters is that the child is loved.
Dont be afraid to show affection to your partner in front of your daughter all that will do is teach her its not okay to love someone. As for the male influence. MEH….Family is whats important. Male or female. Just do what feels right for you and dont worry about your daughter. She will be fine.
February 9th, 2010 at 10:12 am -
Helen C said:
Teen Children of Lesbian Parents
This is the first study to look at adolescents and how same-sex parents affect their abilities to adjust to certain factors like school GPA, self-esteem, depression and connectedness to their peers. Patterson, who has headed other studies about gay and lesbian families, says, “If there’s a time when people are going to wonder if kids are going to be okay, it’s when they’re in their teenage years.”In comparison to heterosexual-headed families, teenagers in same-sex headed families fared just as well in all the areas studied. As a matter of fact, the most important determining factor whether a child is well adjusted or not has to do with their relationship with their parents. The children who reported a good relationship with their parents were better adjusted socially, regardless of their mom’s sexual orientation.
Because the study was so large, for the first time researchers had access to a very diverse pool of families from which to draw information. “It is a national sample and as a result it is more diverse. It’s like a random sample of American teenagers who are in school,” says Patterson. “The virtue of data set is, data is data. There’s no way we could have biased it… The message of the study is what’s important to kids is their relationship with their parents… I say this research gives no warrant for discrimination against lesbian parents and their children.”
Key Findings of the Study:* Children of lesbian parents develop as well as children of opposite-sex parents.
* Teens of lesbian parents have similar dating habits and romantic relationships as children of heterosexual parents.
* Teens raised in lesbian homes showed no more signs of depression, anxiety or low self-esteem than those raised in heterosexual-headed households.
* Adolescents raised with lesbian moms actually felt more connected at school than those raised by opposite-sex parents.
* The most important factor for adolescents in being well-adjusted, regardless of who raised them, was a close relationship with their parents.In Conclusion
The authors of the study conclude that a parent’s sexual orientation should have no bearing on child welfare laws, child custody or visitation.
Source: Child Development - Psychosocial Adjustment, School Outcomes, and Romantic Relationships of Adolescents With Same-Sex Parents Jennifer L. Wainright, Stephen T. Russell, Charlotte J. Patterson Year 2004, Volume 75, Issue 6, Page 1886February 9th, 2010 at 10:28 am
